And so it begins...

Sitting in the cool cafeteria/multi-purpose room at African Bible University outside of Kampala, Uganda, I tried to wrap my head around a concept, a notion. Indeed, thousands of miles across the world was what one might perceive to be an "institution working towards social change," as the requirements so informatively read. For some reason, however, the thought of doing the brunt of my requisite practicum at my current non-profit job, didn't seem to be enough. Beyond a shadow of a doubt, the subject matter I've encountered (and continue to grapple with) is directly applicable in my work in some of the lowest performing schools in the country. In fact, I have frequently approached my job in the poverty-stricken city of Camden, New Jersey with a heart brimming with prayer and a mind prepared with the knowledge derived from my graduate studies.

But something in me seemed to be prodding me, prompting me on to the next level. I wanted to go deeper, to incorporate my ever-deepening hunger for the Lord's work into my efforts for this practicum. I wanted to explore and implement our material from a more international perspective. Sure, my work in Camden allows me to encounter numerous recent migrants from the Caribbean and Central America, as well as second-generation, Spanish-speaking communities. Yet as much as I love my work in Camden, I wanted to go deeper.

For this reason, I was greatly pleased when Dr. Bronkema indicated that a hybrid approach was a definite possibility for my practicum. Not only would I be able to continue working at my job with a mindset of intentional incorporation of subject matter, but I would be able to try my hand in a new field. After all, new wine should be placed in new wineskins, right? I knew exactly where I wanted to try my hand. It was time for me to return to a ministry, to be planted in an environment where I was not only allowed to discuss the Word of God, but I could encourage the reading, discussing, and dissecting of Scripture...

- - -

I first came to Camden in the summer of 2010 to live and work in one of the city's poorest neighborhoods as an intern. The organization that was hosting me and about 40 of my fellow interns from around the world was UrbanPromise. Formed 25 years ago by Bruce Main, a young college graduate recruited by our very own Tony Campolo from Azuza Pacific University, UrbanPromise is an institution in Camden. A number years ago, they began what is now known as UrbanPromise International; they now have programs in Honduras, Malawi, and Uganda, and host International Fellows from the continent of Africa to live and work a year in Camden. The idea is for them to learn the model, draft their own program proposal, and hopefully start a branch of UP back in their home countries. I had become great friends with the Fellows when I first arrived in Camden in 2010, and it was the council of a friend from Malawi by the name of Doreen that I came to really put pen to paper on a proposal for my practicum work with UPI.

After couple of conversations with Doreen, an evaluative interview with some former Fellows about program satisfaction, some creative re-imagining of the curriculum we had done thus far, and a few correspondences/sit-downs with Bruce, a vision placed on my heart that cool Lubowa day back in July had finally become a reality. 

I was on the calendar: Tuesday, October 2nd. 10:30 am. The topic... Servant Leadership.

Thankfully, I had the chance to meet the Fellows a few weeks ahead of time. Bruce had invited me along for a church they would be singing at one Sunday. I wanted to make a good impression, to get to know them, but also to try and assert (read: fake) my authority as an expert on topics of International Development. They were friendly, warm... receptive to the idea that I would be doing a few workshops for them at some point. Whatever doubts they might have had about my supposed knowledge of anything useful to them seemed non-existant--or a least well-hidden. For that I was greatly appreciative!

The day loomed closer and closer, and I could hardly get a prayer out. Whenever the thought of standing in front of the Fellows (about 6 of them) popped into my mind, I got the feeling that comes over you when you haven't studied for a test you're about to take. 

Through my job, I'm no stranger to public speaking. I've done 1 1/2 to 3 hour workshops at national conferences. Denver, CO, National Harbor, MD, all over New Jersey, and about twice a year in Philadelphia when we do organization-wide training. I've gotten more and more accustomed to speaking in front of large crowds, too. Emcee an event? No problem! Say a few words on behalf of our organization? You got it! I even spoke for about 5-8 minutes in front of about 40 parents in Spanish not too long ago. So whenever I speak, I pray like crazy and God gives me the courage I need. Something about this seemed to be different.

Sunday night before the big day came and went, and I still felt spiritual procrastination. I was able to get some slides of a PowerPoint completed Monday morning before work; all the while, I was dealing with this nervous sort-of realization. This wasn't just another training, or conference workshop. It wasn't the same stump speech I've belted out on a whim a thousand times while working with EW. This was a clear-cut, undeniable ministry I would be engaged in. I was bringing the Word of God, hoping that God would impart upon me knowledge that I could then pass on in the hopes of helping these young men and women go back home one day and serve God and His people. There is room for error if I mess up some facts in a workshop or training, but this is God's work that I'm doing here... and I've been procrastinating!

Well, what's a test without a little bit of pressure. I finished my PowerPoint at a reasonable hour Monday night, and rested my head on my pillow that night fairly relaxed, save a few queasy quakes in my stomach...

- - -

"How did it go?" went the texts from my friends who were lifting me up in prayer. I didn't know what to say. The hour and a half or so was an amazing testament to God's answering of our petitions. There's a vision that is recorded in the first chapter of the Book of Jeremiah that I positively love. God is talking to the young soon-to-be prophet about his calling, his mission. Nervous as the young man is, God tells him to fear not. He will touch Jeremiah's mouth and put His words in it. He will give him the strength and courage he needs. He's not too young, he should not be terrified, he should merely trust in the Holy One. I would do well to understand God's relationship with His children!

The workshop went great: my students were engaged in the topic, there was a lot of lively debate, and I really felt God's Spirit working through me at several moments during the discussion. It made me realize what type of environment I want to work in. I love working directly with the beneficiaries of our program, and also having larger program coordination responsibilities. But there's something missing. Though we strive to develop our students' intelligence, their character, their skills, etc., I wish I could do more for the spiritual life of our students. I carry Christ in my heart every day when I walk into those school buildings, but there are many times where I wish we could encourage them from Scripture, teach them about Him, and pray for them/together as a staff.

I'm excited for my next workshop (Leadership as a Means for Community Empowerment), but I also look forward to the day where these types of Christ-centered conversations are a part of my daily life.